“There’s a difference between solitude and loneliness.” – Tom Hanks
I’ve lived alone since I was 19, so for about two years now. The majority of the time I’m left with my own company, and I spend quite a bit of time keeping myself busy with various hobbies or projects when I’m at home. I haven’t always lived alone though; the first year after I moved out of my parents’ house, I lived in an apartment with a roommate. I honestly have a lot of fond memories from that period in time, and it truly was a lot of fun. Things started changing for me, and I’ve always been the kind of person who needs to be alone sometimes to recharge from interacting with people or going places. I made the decision to move out on my own and I’ve settled into a 1 bed 1 bath house in southern Santa Rosa, and it’s been quite an experience making the transition and getting used to living alone.
I would definitely say there’s benefits and drawbacks to living by myself. One of my favorite things about living alone I’d say is always having privacy. Never really having to worry about how I’m dressed or if someone can hear me singing, it’s definitely comforting to have a space all to myself that I can just be myself in without judgment or opinion. Another one of my favorite things is the overall peace, nobody else making a sound, or disturbing the placement of anything I’ve left around the house. It’s really every kid’s dream, being able to do whatever you want at home whenever you feel like it. Whenever I discuss my living arrangements with anyone, I generally get the same response, something to the effect of “wow I’m so jealous” or “I wish I lived alone”. I can’t help but sort of internally wince, because it’s definitely not the greatest thing all the time.
Living alone certainly has its drawbacks, and I’ll try to paint the picture as vividly as I can. Imagine coming home every day, who is the first person you usually talk to? For me, it’s absolutely nobody. There’s nobody around to ask me about my day or tell me about theirs, nobody there to make plans with for the evening, nobody there to talk to about anything at all. When I get home every day, I’m left with just myself and whatever I decide to do around the house, whether it be just watching TV or writing songs or doing chores, I’m quite often left with my own company. It’s definitely lonely at times, and often even exhausting to live in my own head for the majority of my life, but I honestly couldn’t be more grateful to live in such a beautiful place and to have as much privacy as I do.
I don’t really want to live alone forever, but for the time being I suppose it’s okay for me. Sometimes I get a bit paranoid about all the little creaks and random sounds I hear throughout the night, but honestly I do enjoy just having a place that’s mine, and somewhere I know I can go back to at the end of the day to be comfortable.